Hi, I’m Susan. I’m a climber, hiker, trail runner, freelance writer, code wrangler, yogini. Lover of wild places. A fan of dogs, bad humor, and wild mushrooms. I drop whatever I’m doing to follow Orca whales when they’re playing nearby in Puget Sound. Shameless sci-fi and fantasy fanatic. I love an alpine start (that’s where you get up between midnight and 4am to climb a peak) – there’s nothing much that beats standing on the side of a mountain and seeing the sun rise. Favorite rock to climb: wingate sandstone and granite. I believe age is inevitable, but aging is optional.
My career has seen me instructing mountaineering and climbing, working admin in outdoor education, teaching yoga, and now doing WordPress website wrangling, tech support and content writing for the web. I thrive on such a varied life. Much of my free time I can be found hanging out with dogs, rock climbing and scampering up peaks. And eating really good AIP food. Lots of it.
My Autoimmune Story
I started this blog because of my journey with autoimmunity. I share with you in depth about that journey here so you might understand why I’m so grateful to be playing again in the outdoors. Living in a state of wellness is truly a gift. Don’t take your own for granted!
I’m one of a growing number of people worldwide who have Hashimoto’s thyroiditis. It’s the autoimmune version of hypothyroidism, where the body attacks its own thyroid and various other body systems, frequently the brain, as was my case. It’s a very common, yet very under-diagnosed condition. In fact, about 90% of people diagnosed with hypothyroid have this autoimmune (AI) version; not many of them know it, and most are are given ineffective treatment.
I suffered for years with this undiagnosed condition. Once I figured out what was causing my health problems, it took a few more hard-won years to get my health back.
Living with autoimmunity is a constant balancing act; the symptoms can be reduced and even eliminated, but once the autoimmune (AI) gene is turned on, the body maintains its propensity toward autoimmune reactions that cause symptoms.
‘Misbehave’ in the form of dietary and lifestyle habits that feed inflammation and stress, and you pay the price, in debilitating symptoms that might be physical, mental or emotional. On the other hand, listen to your body’s signals for proper care, stay on top of ever-developing treatment protocols, and you have the best chance for what most call a ‘normal’ life.
In a nutshell, living well with autoimmunity means constant attention to taking really good care of yourself. But we should all do that anyhow, right?
Breaking Down
I was a bright, highly athletic, outdoorsy, fun-loving, energetic woman of thirty-something. Climber, trail runner, mountaineer, always on the move. Then, over the period of a few years it all slipped away from me—at first slowly, then cascading rapidly into a complete collapse. At my worst, I wondered if I’d ever be an active part of society again. It was really frightening.
For years, my life was far from normal: I developed chronic chemical depression (based on an inflammatory process in my brain), debilitating fatigue, and the inability to exercise, work, or maintain social relationships. I tried to kill myself twice. I had severe reactivity to multiple foods despite eating what was reportedly a “healthy” diet. I had stubborn weight gain.
I had brain fog so thick, I literally couldn’t write a grocery list. Reading was nearly impossible. Conversations were hard to follow. Even my own thoughts were hard to complete.
I got to the point where my housemate did my grocery shopping for me because I couldn’t handle a trip out of the house. I couldn’t really remember what “well” felt like. It got really scary.
Only in retrospect can I see how far back my health decline began. The more I learn about my condition, the farther back that ‘recognition date’ moves. Originally, I thought it started about two years before my 2008 health crash; now I know it started in my teens or before (and without coughing up my age, I can tell you there’s a mighty amount of moons between 2008 and and my teenage years 😉 ).
I found out I had Hashimoto’s in 2008 when I collapsed, but at the time I didn’t understand how it related to absolutely every one of my symptoms—physical and mental. I had even read Dr. Datis Kharrazian’s renowned book on Hashimoto’s thyroiditis, yet refused believe it was about me. I was to learn better. One day, on Dr. Kharrazian’s blog, I found mention of an online support group called Hashimoto’s 411, and I joined the group. That day my life began to change.
The Healing Path
That was autumn of 2012. In November of that year, in desperation for a change, I started a strict AIP, or autoimmune protocol. It’s an anti-inflammatory protocol that eliminates foods and substances that feed the autoimmune ‘fire’, while remediating deep-seated micronutrient deficiencies and key issues with gut health and other body systems that are common to autoimmunity.
Within a week, my depression was 90% gone; my debilitating brain fog had disappeared; my energy levels started to rise; and my food reactions virtually stopped. It was amazing! My experience of immediate change with AIP is not typical; it tends to take people longer than that for profound changes. I suppose I got lucky.
I had been “mostly-gluten-free” (which is frankly about like being 90% pregnant… think about it… you can’t really be 90% preggers) for years, and had played periodically with corn-, soy-, and sugar-free diets, all of which brought me some relief—until I returned to old eating habits and old symptoms each time.
In 2012, committing to a strict autoimmune protocol truly changed my life, and I began to heal. It wasn’t a 180, though.
Over the next year I felt better than I had in a decade. However, I had some periodic backtracks and knew there were still some things out of place. Key were some disturbing depressive spells which, after some experimentation I found were related to caffeine consumption. So, I swore off my last two vices … sniff … tea and chocolate. That may sound way out there, but my weird depressive spells stopped with the elimination of caffeine. Since then, I’ve found research that supports my suspicions on that (short story: brain inflammation).
However, despite the depression being gone, I still had a lingering — and total — lack of motivation, despite having strong desire to reach my goals and dreams. I was a boss at making well-organized to-do lists, but I literally couldn’t get off my butt to do anything. I felt like some part of me was broken or missing. Imagine a car without a part—it might still run but never quite right. That’s how I felt.
In November 2013, I learned that my lack of motivation might be related to out of balance brain neurotransmitters. I went on amino acid therapy in an effort to remediate that. Within a month, I felt a marked increase in my motivation, and a deeper stabilization of my moods. I felt better than I had in a decade! (note on that below…).
Since 2014, the deep depression hasn’t returned, and my motivation has been steady. In addition, my ability to handle exercise and stress has increased exponentially.
2016 update: I have since learned more about the neurotransmitter issues, and while supplementing them was a piece of the puzzle for me, my long-term protocol revolves around keeping inflammation at bay, especially in my brain; new research has shown that chronic brain inflammation is a key player in many (perhaps all) depressive disorders, from chronic low-level depression to severe psych disorders such as schizophrenia. The inflammation affects brain function in a variety of ways, and the resulting disruption of neurotransmitter function is only part of the picture.
In the Backcountry Again!
Over winter 2013-2014 I started climbing at the climbing gym. Historically, I’m not a gym rat, but living in a rainy state, well… what a joy to climb again, even indoors on plastic!
I started day hiking and was amazed I could finally handle it again. In the previous 4 years, doing merely 20 minutes of easy yoga resulted in a 2 hour recovery nap. The two years prior to that, I couldn’t handle any physical activity at all; even going up a flight of stairs felt heroic.
In spring of 2014 I returned to hiking in the mountains, rock climbing, and climbing some technical peaks.
In summer of 2015 I returned to more strenuous alpine mountaineering, and my body was now able to handle extreme, extended physical activity with a relatively normal recovery period.
Summer of 2016 saw me doing long alpine mountaineering days (16-21 hour pushes) and handling it really well with normal recovery. I’m now training for alpine adventures with more intense cardio along with high intensity exercise and weights, and seeing my strength increase over what it was even in my twenties.
Summer of 2017: I’m climbing, mountaineering, running, hiking, and training hard at the gym (for all those activities).
My outdoor trip ‘hit list’ grows daily! Whoop whoop! Gratitude.
Looking Forward
I’m still learning where my body’s changing limits are. I have to be mindful to not over-do it. Even this summer I passed on trip invites, to keep from pushing my body too hard and crashing. It’s a balancing act. Living with autoimmunity is a balancing act… ever-changing.
I am becoming re-acquainted with my changed body, fostering a better relationship with it, and building the strength and stamina to take me higher and further than I’ve been in years. Or perhaps ever. I’m so ready!
This healing journey involves a lot of learning, and a great deal of patience and stubbornness. My Naturopathic Doctor once told me the only reason I survived my initial health crash was due to my amazing will power. I’ll take it!
My path has brought me here to Backcountry Paleo, where I am excited to share my inspiration about getting back into the wild, high, and remote places. and FOOD.
This morning, a friend at the climbing gym commented about the posts I make on my personal Facebook page, where I frequently express unhinged stoke about the progress I’m making in my training and climbing. Such as “7 pullups — PR for the WIN!” … My response: Until you lose the ability to climb a flight of stairs, work, or complete a thought, and as a result, lose hope in having a future, it’s probably hard to understand why someone would post about that stuff like a kid at summer camp. That’s okay; I’ll keep pouring out the stoke. The gratitude brings me to tears on a regular basis.
It is my hope that this website will help and inspire those who need it. If you are suffering from symptoms that keep you from doing what you love, remember that there is always hope.
Thanks for visiting!
Oh, and if you want the less personal version of on what’s on this website, go here.
Beautiful Website!! I look forward to following you are your journey!! You are such an inspiration to so many of us with invisible diseases.
Cheers to hiking and healing!
xx,
Andrea
ps: we met at a Seattle area AIP potluck a few months ago.
Hi Andrea! Glad to see you here! I hope you’ve been able to get out and enjoy nature in this gorgeous pacific northwest summer. Thanks for visiting!
Our stories are so similar! I skinned up Paradise Glacier yesterday, climbed Mt St. Helens last month – all this after a couple years of serious healing and thinking my hiking adventures were over. Maybe we’ll cross paths on the trail – or let me know if you’re ever looking for a buddy. I know you’ll understand if I have to say no because I played too hard this weekend already. Even with all we have to plan around it’s crazy great to be on the bright side of Hashi. Thanks for doing this blog. I’m gonna love it! Already do!
Sharyn – thanks for the shout! Yep, it is good to know people who totally get it when you say no to a trip invite because you’re worn out from some other adventure. We become smarter over time, and this helps us stay the long course. Are you in WA state?
Thanks Sue, yes, I live in Seattle.
I just started a facebook page for the blog – let’s get in contact there by PM and see about some adventures! The fb link is now in the sidebar.
Thanks for your unfolding story, Sue. I didn’t know about that intervening period of your life — I still remember you calmly encouraging me to push harder into that downward dog while my arms, legs, and dignity became jelly… Hard to imagine you without that. I’m glad your persistence to be healthy hasn’t failed, despite failures of the body. You continue to be an inspiration!
Michael, thanks. As you know, sometimes the trail leads us into unexpected terrain. The journey becomes the destination, no?
So excited about this blog! I also have Hashis and live in Seattle…I’m still trying to heal my body, and finding/creating AIP-complient snacks for the trail hasn’t always been easy. So thanks!
Kelsey – I’m so glad you found BCP! I hope it helps you on your journey. The Hashi’s path is a lot like adventuring in the outdoors, isn’t it? We may have a map, but sometimes the landscape determines our path more than the ink on the paper. Do you know about the local Pacific Northwest AIP group on facebook? We gather for social events like AIP potlucks and teas, coordinate together on bulk food buys, and share info on local paleo food sources and opinions on local doctors. Here’s the link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/461640397265313/
Hi Sue,
Congratulations on healing yourself and thank you for sharing your story and your recipes. We have so much in common but I’m just north of the border. Planning food for a trip to Seattle is what led me to your blog, actually. I find it so much easier to travel with food and the best way I know to do that when there’s a border crossing is to bring along my camp stove and some dehydrated meals and snacks. This is the first time I’ve done such while on AIP.
I was just getting back to climbing and looking forward to some summer back packing trips when I got hurt a few weeks ago. At first I was bummed but now after reading your blog I’m looking at it as a time to do some more healing and an excuse to perfect my back country recipes. Thank you Sue! Maybe I should start sewing that tarp tent I’ve been dreaming about too!
Thanks for the shout! I like your positive take on how to utilize your healing time. I know that looking forward during a time of injury or illness, that moment of getting back to what we love sure can feel a long ways off – but when it comes, it’s NOW and is so awesome. May you heal swiftly!
Thanks Sue, and if you’re ever up in squishy let me know. I’m sure it would be fun to visit and eat together after a day in the mountains!
Sounds great! I hope to get up there a couple times this summer for some pitches!
I am so happy to have come across your blog. I’m working through autoimmunity and high levels of mercury, I’m getting there and now able to do a bit more physical activity, and of late, biking and hiking. I’m not all that keen on the store bought hiking food and really need nutritious support on the trail. Looking forward to seeing more posts 🙂
Hi Lee! I’ve had a busy summer out on the trail, and I’ve got a lot of catching up to do on recipes and trip reports! Lots coming out in the next month!
Hi, can you please recommend a physician to work with in the Seattle area? I’ve been searching for a good one now for years. Have hashimoto’s, just want to have someone who knows “how to reverse it” help me. Please e-mail me your suggestions, thanks.
Hi Susie – I’d rather make recommendations privately. If you email me via the Contact page, we can talk about it there 🙂
Hi
Thanks so much for posting this blog. I am currently writing this from my bed where I’ve been for months after a sudden and unexpected flare up of my colitis. I too am an avid climber and am just devastated by what has become of me and the thought that I may never climb again. Reading your blog brings me comfort. Here’s hoping we run into each other at a belay station somewhere and share an AIP snack.
Hi Alison!
I’m sorry to hear you are out of the climbing loop for a while – I say “a while” because I want you to keep faith that you will return to it. It may seem a long way off, but don’t give up hope. I know how hard it can be on so many levels, to be removed from doing what you love.
Do you have a healthcare practitioner who is helping you through this? Also, do you know about these two blogs below? Both are women who have ulcerative colitis and blog about AIP/diet support:
Astrid Fox at http://www.healmeinthekitchen.com/
and
Mikaela Guimaraes at http://slightlylostgirl.com/
Maybe their websites will also bring you some encouragement!
And if you’re ever in my neck of the woods, let’s do share a belay and snacks!
Thanks for inspiring me to do what I need to do…I think it is interesting that many of us need to be completely taken down in order to address these things. Life has led me to your site, thank you for sharing. Kristin
Hi Kristin;
I know so many folks who had to hit bottom to find their way. Welcome to the fold. We get good at getting back up!